If you look at the above images from your seat in front of the computer, Mr. Angry is on the left, and Ms.Calm is on the right.
Get up from your seat, and move back 12 feet, and PRESTO!! they switch places!!
It is said this illusion was created by Phillippe G.Schyns and Aude Oliva of the University of Glasgow.
Does this prove that we sometimes may not be seeing what’s actually there?
I keep hearing that, so I thought I had better before some of my long time net friends crawl through my monitor and squash me like the bug they think I’ve become.
That would be the Hum Bug…I guess.
My goodness life has been a roller coaster – you guys on this ride too? No? You got smart and jumped off already huh? Chickens!
I did not realize how involved this plan to start my own internet business would get. If someone would have told me that something I so loved to do would turn into a full fledge full time (okay, well, about as full time as I can be) job.
I have a stack of invoices 3 inches thick that need entered into my database – and ya’ll know how I hate data entry – so there they sit in my inbox, staring accusingly at me to get my little fingers busy and get to entering them before the dust that has settled on them gets too thick.
I spent the whole day just organizing my office trying to get organized so that I can get everything inventoried and cataloged for the next two upcoming craft sales – each about 3 weeks apart from the other – now WHY did I do that?
Must have been the Brain fart of this little “hum bug” I guess.
I’m starting to panic because I am not even anywhere near ready for the craft fair on the 11th. I have so much that I want to create yet, and so much that I have yet to do, aside from the financial, organizational, & creative aspects of it…I’m one swamped little hum bug.
Luther Point – Grantsburg, WI |
I’ve spent this special time in this special place with other women, sharing, listening, watching, enjoying, learning and perhaps even teaching, and I’ve spent some much needed time alone to reflect on those things deep inside that needed time from me.
As I sit here, my coffee beside me, pen in hand, journal before me and my camera at my side – I gaze out at the beautiful scenery before me. I’ve tried to capture the sights that I have witnessed with my camera, but the camera like my written words never quite seem to do its beauty justice…I’m left wishing for the ability to capture more.
I find solace in the fact that it’s the “more†that will be with me, forever in my memory. The way the breeze blows through the trees, bringing forth a familiar lullaby from days gone by, how the rustling of the leaves and the creaking of the branches as they sway and bend in the wind creates a life form of its own. It’s as if it’s Gods own breath that is expelled from some place deep, that pauses, then breathes in and exhales again, rushing along the valley of the river until there is a silence, then it gains momentum and begins again. The moisture laden fingers of the breeze glides in the air and touches me as if caresses from God, gentle against my face, reassuring me that He is always with me. I lift my face towards the heavens; close my eyes, and in a silent prayer I give my heartfelt thanks for the peace that fills me to overflowing within.
I take with me the sounds of the call of night owls as they call to their mates; one deep, another two tones higher further in the woods, the memory of the wondrously awe inspiring sight of a star filled night. I carry with me the sounds of crickets chirping, a lone eagles’ piercing cry as it swoops and rides the air currents above. In the distance heard above the rush of the wind is the sudden “plop†and “splash†of a fish jumping at a bug that I imagine must have been hovering just above the water. The twitter and chatter of the squirrels as they run in a fashion that seems erratic to me, but must be the natural order of life for them as they run hither and yon either burying or collecting acorns in preparation of the long winter months ahead.
I came here with no expectations, only the hope to find some peace to fill a hole that has walked beside me since I was a child. I am surprised to find that the hole has not only been filled, but is now overflowing with the grace of God, His love, the peace that only knowing God can bring and forgiveness of myself. My strength has been renewed, my faith rekindled, and my mind is at rest for the first time in years. Tears come easily now as I am touched and humbled by the amazing grace this weekend has brought to me.
The sun has risen further in the sky now, the lone star and crescent moon of dawn has faded off into a view for someone, some place else in a world other then my own. There is a sense of ending, and yet a sense of a beginning that hovers in the air around me.
Looking back towards the building that has housed these other beautiful women the past two nights and days, I am reminded of the squirrels and their activities as there is evidence that they too are awake now and preparing for our final day before our retreat is over.
The fellowship and learning the meanings of the faith from so many of these wonderful women has touched me deeply in ways I will never be able to describe and this will remain with me always. I question how anyone who came here can come away unchanged, a question I myself cannot answer.
Looking back now to our final morning together; the blessings that I came away with is something that touches me to the core. Our service on that last morning while simple was one of the most soul awakening and powerful services I have ever known. The gift of sharing God and His Holy Communion with so many spiritual women is something that will never fade from my memory.
If I were to play Rose and Thorn, it must be that our rose is the strength, joy, peace and fulfillment that God has rekindled in us all, our thorn is that our time here together is at an end.
But as with all endings there too must be beginnings, and while the parting is bittersweet, our memories and renewed faith in God and His ever presence in our lives will sustain us. Tomorrow we begin our day with renewed hope and strength.
Yes, we have laughed, we have cried, we have opened our minds and shared our hearts and our souls with each other. We have formed new friendships and rekindled old ones, and for each of us who came here with different expectations, each seeking her own form of solace, peace and fellowship within the power of prayer, that amazing power of the forces of God joined in women, we each part with our own different meanings and memories of our weekend. Yet there is something powerful that the seventeen of us will always share, our bond as women of and in Christ, as survivors, survivors who can Outlive, Outpray and Outlast.
It has been a long time since I was up at the crack of dawn, waiting to see such a beautiful site as a glorious rise of another day. For the first time in years I actually saw stars in the sky – I saw the big and little dipper right above me and a bit of the milky way – I praised my God in thanks for this little bit of His beauty that I was afforded the opportunity to see.
I can recall many nights in Nebraska, where my head was always looking up at the beauty of the stars – to me there is nothing more fascinating then a star filled night. Living in the cities as I do now – you don’t often see this, so I am thankful for the littlest bit of His beauty that shines out and touches my life.
I have been surviving through each day that passes – pushing myself further and further each day until I finally collapsed in exhaustion, pain to much to move, the pounding in my head from a migraine making it too difficult to lie still, my sinuses fighting the battle of the seasons changing – finally thinking, or rather hoping that a hot shower would ease not only the pain in my body, but the sinus passages in my head – I jumped in gingerly to stand for what seemed like an eternity until my stomach decided to retch its contents, relieving me of whatever I had eaten the night before. I could have been satisfied with that – but then came the dry heaves from the migraine – so I spent yesterday on the couch, suffering in a silence that only FM sufferers know.
I’m finding that it isn’t the pain from FM that bothers me the most – it is the other pains I had before FM crawled into my life that is multiplied, divided and multiplied again only to make the pain of what ails me seem one hundred times worse then it ever was. That’s the killer.
I’ve been working most days cultivating new artisans for The Knot & Bauble Shoppe. As soon as I get this postal service issue cleared up, I plan to then open it up reaching out further into this beautiful world of ours to other Artisans in different countries so that they too can benefit from the beauty of Knot & Bauble’s creation – the ability to sell their items online without loosing all of the profit from their hard work. While I have had to increase the cost a bit to cover expenses, it is still way less then what you would pay at other well known sites.
I never dreamed that this online Shoppe would be so all consuming, it eats up my days like crazy, and when I am not out trying to market KnB, I’m working on the new design, when I’m not working on the new design, I’m working on my latest creations, or the Knot & Bauble newsletter (of which if you are interested you can sign up for here – our membership is growing like crazy and it may be that I will soon need to purchase another program to create and send the newsletter in), and when I’m not doing any of this I am being Grandma to my beautiful Granddaughter Lexi who visits me every day.
There seems to be less and less time to sit and enjoy those little things that I used to enjoy – writing, visiting all of you…so on and so forth. After next week is up ( I am watching Lexi from 8-5 every day for this week and next week – her Daddy went to days temporarily) – I want to try to make a vow to get in here at least once a week and spend some time visiting and writing. I really, really want to get back to being able to write again – I’m feeling overly stuffy inside.
Before I run off again I have a few pictures I want to share with you all.
Melissa & Kailie, and then Lexi…my daughter, and Granddaughters…
and then of course, there is…
Me!
Until next time – hugs and smooches to those of you who know me enough to receive them – and for the rest of you, well…that’s just the way I am. =)
I cannot begin to count the times I’ve tried to reach into the depths of my soul and pull all of my thoughts and emotions out to analyze why I am so dried up. Each time either I’m interrupted by something or someone in close proximity to me – or my mind wanders to all of the pressing things I need to do and won’t even begin to let me open up and feel, think or be anything remotely close to the woman who used to write.
I’m reading a book by some guy who believes he has the answer to knowing God – and while I’m not too far into the book, I believe that he has some valid points. There is a chapter where he discusses the differences between how we each think differently about life – what our views on life are – while some of us may have the same words – the feeling is different and if asked what metaphor we would use to describe life as we see it…some of us would say that “Life is a bowl of Cherriesâ€, or life is a roller coaster and we are hanging on for the ride, or life is a dance, a party, or life is like a deck of cards, you play the hand you are dealt. It is that perception of how we see life that makes our lives what it is.
I keep reflecting on this and wonder if even while I try to convince myself and others that I have a positive outlook, if in reality it is really negative. I have often compared my life to a roller coaster ride – or even that it was a deck of cards and that I was just playing the hand that I was dealt instead of asking for more, perhaps better cards and so in reality I am just “settling†and letting all of this negativity surround me.
This haunts me because I have always firmly believed that God helps those who help themselves, and if I haven’t been trying my hardest; what have I been doing?
Wallowing in self-pity is the only thing that comes to mind.
I don’t ever want to challenge my God and ask “What else could go wrong?†Because I don’t want to know, maybe more to the point is that I don’t want to be shown, I think I already know what could go wrong.
In the past month when things have seemed to be at their worst, and I find myself walking around in a daze, feeling completely alone and stressed to the point of breaking, God always steps in to show me that there are others who have it worse then I.
The day that I was standing in the shower for hours, crying and crying because both Tom’s and my disability exhausted in the same month was the same day that the bridge on 35W over the Mississippi river collapsed. A light came on inside, after I got over the shock and the horror of the devastation, and it was almost as if God was letting me know he heard me, but that right then, he had other people to take care of, and for me to reach deep inside for my strength to hold on just a bit longer.
The day I found out that we no longer have health insurance, they pulled the tiny body of a 22 month old baby from the river – I think of my own grandchildren and how devastated I would be to loose either of them or their mothers. Yet, somewhere there is a mother and a grandmother feeling that horrible devastation of the senseless loss of her daughter and her granddaughter. I may not have health care, but I am alive, and at this time without pressing, serious need of medical care.
I am alive.
I am alive.
I am alive.
Maybe if I keep repeating this to myself long and hard enough I’ll convince myself of just how lucky I really am.
I have a roof over my head, a light that shines from my windows at night, a full belly with food in the freezer and pantry, hot & cold running water, clothes on my back, shoes on my feet, a nice car to drive, I have the ability to think, feel, see, smell, hear and learn, a family who loves me and a God who truly loves me and wants me to be the very best that I can be and forgives me when I am not.
I am alive.
I am alive.
I AM ALIVE.
How lucky is that?
I watched one of the most amazing and self revealing movies tonight. While I’m not going to mention the movie, I’d rather reflect on what it said to me in many ways.
I think the funny thing is, I cried through most of the movie and I found myself wondering why I was crying. Was it out of regret that my life has gone so fast and so furious and I am still at a point where I don’t know what I want to be or to do? Is it because I regret the fact that I am older now and that there are so many doors closed to me that were once open? Maybe it was because I could truly relate to the young women in the movie, and at some point in my life I had been where each one of them was and I shared that pain.
Mostly I think it was what that movie said to me.
I think that I know why I am always in such a rush to get things done, why I am always worried that while I am doing something with this person, I am thinking about how sad it is that the other person in my life is not there, instead of enjoying the time with the other while I have it. I think I know now why I cannot sleep most of the time.
Its time itself. I am always worried that there won’t be enough time to do all the things that I need to do and still have time left over to do the things that I want to do.
But maybe that’s the key to happiness after all. Maybe instead of worrying about tomorrow, I need to concentrate on today and find happiness now. Perhaps it isn’t about what we don’t have, the thinking that we would be happier if we had this or that is the lie we tell ourselves. I think its about finding happiness in just being, finding happiness in the here and now and make the most of what we do have – perhaps this is the lesson God has been trying to teach me all along and I just couldn’t see it.
I feel the clock move as if in fast forward, tick-tock, tick, tick tock-tock on goes the clock. Those hands seem to have a life of their own and speed up or slow down when it finds a reason too – maybe at this age, I am just too all aware of the passage of it.
So then I think that maybe the answer to being happy with my life is to focus on the good, realize how fortunate I am – to find happiness in the joy of living, in the art of loving and in the sweet sensation of being loved in return…maybe that is the key to it all – the answer to that ago old question.
I think, this is something that I need to refect on more.
I thank God that all of my family members are home this night, safe and sound. But that isn’t the way it is for all Minnesotans tonight as we all sit around our televisions, waiting and watching as the death toll rises from the horrific tragedy of the bridge that collapsed over the Mississippi River.
The bridge is along 35W north and south, into Minneapolis – I think there but for the grace of God go I. I drove that freeway everyday, morning and night, crossing that bridge to and from work last year – until the car accident.
The latest report is according to WCCO:
At least seven people are dead after all four lanes of the Interstate 35W Mississippi River bridge near University Avenue collapsed into the river and onto businesses underneath the highway during rush hour.
I just can’t fathom how these families must be coping. The engineers will have their asses handed to them tomorrow I am sure by the DOT, and I assume that every bridge within the Twin Cities will be inspected. We have a lot of them.
I just pray for the emergency workers, the victims, the survivors and all their families find strength and uplifting from our heavenly Father. I pray that there is a sense of peace in what they have accomplished in the face of adversity and knowing from experience that the Emergency workers will beat themselves up afterwards about what they should have done, or could have done…I pray that they find rest in the knowledge that they did the very best they could do.
If you would like to see the video’s of this horrible tragedy – go here.
There is nothing in this world more near and dear to my heart then my grandchildren. There is just something about being with them that turns my world inside out, turns gray skies blue, night into day, and my heavy heart into a light and happy one.
I’ve been accused you know of spoiling them, that I drop everything when they come around to be with them. The accusations are correct, except that I spoil them with love and I do discipline, say no, when it is needed. I was a mom once after all, and I do drop pretty much everything that I am doing to spend that so precious time with them. Why wouldn’t I?What really irritates me though is when I am accused by other family members that I act more like the child’s mother then her grandmother. No, that doesn’t irritate me that pisses me off. Especially in light of the fact that the person with this load of crap coming out of her mouth, does the very same thing to her own grandchildren; Personally I think that she is just jealous that neither one of my grandchildren like her very much. Maybe they sense her true personality, or maybe they sense how she treats me…I don’t know, kids are a puzzle I some times have difficulty putting together.
It doesn’t matter, really, what others say…those little girls know who their grandma is, they know that I love them so, so much, and they know that I am always here for them. That’s all that matters right now in their tiny worlds. We sit on the floor together and read books, or watch their little movies or go outside for a little play time – which usually entails me walking beside them as they jabber away. I will never push them away just because some one tells me I hold them too much, or that I spoil them too much.
Look at these faces…how could you not love them to pieces?
Kailie Age 2 – March 2007
Alexis Age 19 months – July 2007
