December's Illusion

So last night Tom and I are lying in bed, me with my laptop looking at knitting patterns and he beside me trying to sleep and he tells me I can shut off the heating pad, the rest of the conversation went something like this…

Me: yeah, but I would like it on my feet if you are done with it.

Him: I didn’t have it on my feet, I couldn’t get it there.

Me: that’s because I’m lying on the cord, I guess.

Him: Yeah, but you know what I really want?

Me: Hmmm?

Him: I want you to roll over and snuggle up beside me…

Me: aww, well just a sec…

Him:…So I can snore in your ear.

Me: dork.

Him: Its only cuz I love you.

I sit in an overstuffed chair in the living room – the chair faces the TV and is also positioned where I can see outside as well. Snow is softly falling, covering any bare patches that might have resulted from the previous day’s warm front that blew through for a couple of days.

All four of the children I am watching are blissfully napping. A silence fills the house that I haven’t heard since the early morning hours…I almost melt with a sense of peacefulness.

I could be up cleaning, but today I need to just take a break and refuel. There is a program on TV that makes me want to go in and grab all four of these children and pull them close to me in a protective hug. Cold Case files presents a story of a caretaker who killed one of her children that she cared for. The child was two years old, and she refused to admit that she hit him with something and cracked his skull open. She got 15 years for this horrific crime – the child and parents were cheated of a life.

I do not care how much the children in my care try my patience, I don’t care how much they get on my last nerve – nothing they could ever do would make me pick up something and hit a child with it, nothing would ever make me raise my hand in anger to them. My kids know what “Time-out” means and when they have pushed my limits, this is where they go.

It is during these moments, when they are asleep, when I can sit back and breathe normally for a few moments that I can reflect on the morning, and let my thoughts run while I stare out the window at the snow that silently falls – with each moment that ticks by on the clock, with each flake that falls, so too does my stress level, giving me a much needed refueling so that when those little eyes open, and those little arms reach out to me to hold them, to love them, to play with them & to protect them, I have the same huge smile on my face and the same amount, if not more, love in my heart to give them.

Lately I’ve been getting into these silly You Tube Videos…its not like You Tube is a new thing to me, but when all else fails to make me laugh, I can always count on these goofy animal videos to make me laugh.

In this video – Molly, a 3 month old Golden Retriever is watching, literally watching Air Buddies.

My ex-boyfriends Mother. I wonder if the cats name is Maxine?

I wish you all the most beautifulest of Holidays. May you be surrounded by those who love you, cherished by your friends and find that the best things to wish for are those things that you already have…family and friends.

I thought that I would share some of my birthday pictures with you. Tom got a hold of the camera, so this is me…on my birthday, after caring for 4 kids that day in my daycare…I was wiped out, but I sure had fun!

Make a Wish!

There is one Christmas Carol that has always baffled me.

What in the world do leaping lords, French hens, swimming swans, and especially the partridge who won’t come out of the pear tree have to do with Christmas?

This week, I found out.

From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were not permitted to practice their faith openly. Someone during that era wrote this carol as a catechism song for young Catholics.

It has two levels of meaning: the surface meaning plus a hidden meaning known only to members of their church. Each element in the carol has a code word for a religious reality which the children could remember.

-The partridge in a pear tree was Jesus Christ.

-Two turtle doves were the Old and New Testaments.

-Three French hens stood for faith, hope and love.

-The four calling birds were the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John.

-The five golden rings recalled the Torah or Law, the first five books of the Old Testament.

-The six geese a-laying stood for the six days of creation.

-Seven swans a-swimming represented the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit–Prophesy, Serving, Teaching,  Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership, and Mercy.

-The eight maids a-milking were the eight beatitudes.

-Nine ladies dancing were the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit–Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness,  Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control.

-The ten lords a-leaping were the ten commandments.

-The eleven pipers piping stood for the eleven faithful disciples.

-The twelve drummers drumming symbolized the twelve points of belief in the Apostles’ Creed.

So there is your history for today. This knowledge was shared with me and I found it interesting and enlightening and now I know how that strange song became a Christmas Carol. I always thought that this Christmas Carol had to do with the times of old when the Twelve Days of Christmas were celebrated.

This year my big Christmas undertaking was making mittens for the majority of the female members in my family (including a couple of cherished friends). Here are a just a few of the mittens that I made…

.

I have more that I made, but these are the ones that are my favorites. I’ve been working on some other presents too, but none I can post yet and I have still yet to get that darn sweater posted, and also a working image of the throw I am currently knitting.

I don’t think pictures are going to be possible today though…who’d have thought that two little girls could be so much work. The two boys have yet to arrive – opps, I spoke too soon, the first boy just pulled in the drive! I think I’ll be lucky to have my sanity by 6:00 tonight. I’ll be saying…where’s the tequila, or, more likely, where’s my bed.

…that when you have to sleep you can’t, and when you don’t have to, you happily sleep the day away?

I had the day off from watching the kidlets, and after helping Tom deliver papers, I came home, fixed myself a hot pack for the sinus headache that has been plaguing me, took my meds and slept until almost 11:00. That was after going to bed at 10:30 the night before, sleeping until 4:15, delivering papers and getting back to bed at 6:30. Which, in the long version, meant 4 1/2 more hours of sleep.

I can readily tell myself that I needed it. But my house needed cleaned too, presents needed wrapped, I still had more candies and cookies yet to make, and I wanted to sit and watch some TV too.

So what did I do?

I leisurely read the paper over a few cups of coffee, took a shower, updated the blog, and checked my over-flowing email. Then we were off to Steph’s to help her get hubby’s Christmas present from his Mom into the basement. Since he already knows what it is, as of tonight, and since it is too big to hide – she bought him a pool table. The woman absolutely spoils these kids. I’m glad she can, because all we can afford to give them is our love and emotional support. I’m sure Kirks mom would trade positions with me in a moment, so believe me when I say I am not complaining or feeling sorry for myself.

We got back into the cities, went to the grocery store for a few items and came home and started supper. At 7:30 there was a ring of the door bell, my neighbor informing me she was leaving for Chicago in the morning, so I will have two more kidlets to add to my original two…making four little kidlets in this house tomorrow…and I can’t sleep!!

Instead my mind is thinking about all the things I have to get done tomorrow, on top of it all – tomorrow is my birthday.

Gee, I can’t think of anything I would rather be doing on my 47th birthday.

Can you say…Liar!

…but I just haven’t found the time. Hopefully soon, between all the last minute crafting, creating, baking, present wrapping and kidlet watching….